FYI: You can win $250,000 to renovate your home in the Whole House Makeover Sweepstakes. I entered, though I’m not quite sure whether the contest has started as my current issue of House Beautiful implies the contest begins on Dec. 15. That said, the entry forms are up and working, so why not enter now?

I detest Thomas Kinkade and his dewy, gooey, glowy paintings. There’s a whole development inspired by his hotel-quality “artwork” that is, oddly enough, filled with run-of-the-mill tract housing, not quaint cottages backlit by angelic luminescence at all times. Oh, and I hate Kinkade’s book, Cape Light, just because I can. I know, I’m such a meanie!

In fact, I’m such a meanie that this post about the Thomas Kinkade Christmas Movie at Vanity Fair just about made my day.

Kinkade, a postmodern Norman Rockwell for the evangelist set, instructed the crew to adhere to an aesthetic code that wouldn’t have flown in a first-year film class. The list of 16 “guidelines” on how to create “The Thomas Kinkade Look” on film, which was circulated to crew members in memo form, has been obtained exclusively by VF Daily.

So if you ever need to make a movie suck or make an entire planned community suck, feel free to follow the above link and apply Kinkade’s guidelines to your project.

Putting aside the fact that the photographic style used to shoot this Scott Sanders, LLC interior for the April 2003 issue of House & Garden makes it look like the pool house is at the bottom of the pool, I’m loving the colors. At first, these spaces struck me as a tad jarring. Imagine how bright it must be without the underwater filter. Seriously…those yellows, those blues, those pinks! I envision the whole look as being very refreshing.

I like it, for now, though I could see it driving me absolutely bonkers after living within it for more than a weekend. You?

Yesterday, the mysterious machinations of fate brought me to the ‘toilets in Japan’ entry on Wikipedia, and I was reminded of the three seashells in Demolition Man. Many have speculated as to the correct usage of the three seashells, and the Poop Report even claims to have figured it out. That great quandary unraveled, I believe that the Poop Report should now help us all understand the vagueries of the Japanese toilet.

This interface looks fairly straightforward, though I have never experienced the urge to shower in my toilet. If a shower isn’t a shower in this context, what precisely is the difference between the shower function and the bidet function? Never mind…one would hopefully figure it out without spraying one’s trousers. The following interface, on the other hand, requires a lot more thought, along with a thorough knowledge of Japanese.

All right, so I press one button for a gentle spray, one for a stronger spray, one for a special spray just for ladies…and I press the last button for what, a strip of crispy bacon? Now that’s a toilet.

Wikipedia has this to say about so-called super toilets:

Other features may include a heated seat, which may be adjustable from 30°C to 40°C; an automatic lid equipped with a proximity sensor, which opens and closes based on the location of the user. Some even play music to relax the user’s sphincter (some Inax toilets, for example, play the first few tunes of Op. 62 Nr. 6 Frühlingslied by Felix Mendelssohn). Other features are automatic flushing, automatic air deodorizing, and a germ-resistant surface. Some models specially designed for the elderly may include arm rests and devices that help the user to stand up after use. A soft close feature slows the toilet lid down while closing so the lid does not slam onto the seat, or in some models, the toilet lid will close automatically a certain time after flushing. The most recent introduction is the ozone deodorant system that can quickly eliminate smells.

The mind boggles!

Bunnies and birds, pitchers and planters? Sign me up! No, seriously. I’m a sucker for all those things, especially when they’re painted (glazed?) in bright, happy colors that just happen to complement the decor I already have in my modest little home. Not, er, that I have $480 to spend on a Zooey mini chandelier from Perch! design just about now. But like The Manolo always says, beautiful things of quality are worth saving up for.

Particularly when you’re totally cute.

Natural coir, woven from coconut husks, makes this birds and flowers doormat from Acacia Home a perfect way to say welcome home. As sweet as it is, it stands up to all kinds of weather, so you won’t have to ask guests to take off their shoes before wiping their feet.

Fabric letters from Anthropologie: $6

Making them at home myself with fabric scraps I have laying around: Priceless