Ever tune into the Home Shopping Network? There’s something a little naughty about watching uppity women desperate to sell you something you don’t really need in the next 15 minutes. I don’t have a television, but the Home Shopping Network has gotten around that by putting their inventory online. How else, after all, would reclusive people like myself ever discover how empty their lives are without the FreshPrep Toss & Chop Salad Tool?
Now I realize that staring into its gaping maw doesn’t tell you much about how this apparent miracle of a kitchen tool functions. Luckily, HSN is there to clarify things.
Toss, mix and chop your food all in one step with our FreshPrep Toss & Chop™ Salad Tool. This amazing cutlery device allows you to quickly make healthy, fresh meals. Conveniently and swiftly prepare all the ingredients to make egg, chicken, tuna or chef salads, holiday stuffing and more—all in one bowl. Simple and easy to use, this great little tool saves you time in the kitchen so you can spend it with friends and loved ones.
I can’t deny that I do like spending time with friends and loved ones! Who doesn’t? Fascists, that’s who! So toss out your knives and your forks, and fill your kitchens with cooking and prep gadgets that don’t have any kind of cross-functionality. It’s the American way!