No, no, not that blue velvet (though some people certainly want it, maybe you). I’m talking about blue velvet chairs, yum. Velvet phones, flocked chairs, I love it all.

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I think I’m in love. With a chair. Don’t tell my husband, okay? Vintage Thonet chairs become something new entirely when reupholstered in a bright blue fabric that’s been hand screen printed with a collection of California’s birds and blossoms. Sadly, these gorgeous chairs from En Route Studio will not be en route to my home any time soon. A set of four chairs costs $1,100, and as The Beard so sarcastically put it: “Cute! And they’re in our price range, too!”

How do you get a chair from a couch? It’s easy when you get it from Couch, founded in 2008 by designer Deborah Swift. Inspired by antique furniture and opulent fabrics, she created a line of lovingly restored period furniture that is upholstered in luxe, jazzy fabrics.

The Valbonne Chair (£495), a French armchair with black ebonised frame, is a lovely example of the kind of design Couch is known for. I’ve featured patchwork furniture once or twice before – specifically items from Squint – but I think I like Swift’s designs the best.

Plastic cheap? Perish the thought! Sometimes plastic can be downright pricey.

Kartell Frilly Chair by Patricia Urquiola

Pink lucite tables

Tube Top Colors Table Lamp by Pablo

Pink lucite tray via Living Etc.

Pink table by Yuka Izutsu for MoCo Loco

Mod? Modern? Retro? Reproduction? I just love it when can’t tell just by looking whether a piece of furniture came off the assembly line yesterday or some forty years ago. That’s precisely how I feel about the Hara armchair. Designed by Giorgio Gurioli for Kundalini, it’s described as a “bio-energetic” seat (which means goodness knows what when it comes to furniture).

I just know I dig it. The Hara armchair comes in white, black, orange, red, chocolate, beige, aquamarine, light green, and my fave, bougainvillea. It’s suitable for indoor or outdoor use, since it’s made of lacquered fiberglass treated with UV-protectant. Did I mention it costs the big bucks? Think $4,500, plus shipping.

You’d think they’d hook you up with free delivery!

…or some number, anyway. Brazilian studio Baíta Design (run by Helena Bueno and Heinz Müller) wanted their Reindeer chair to come in various colors and heights.

Imagine sitting down at the end of a long, frustrating day, and relaxing, kicking off your pinchy heels, and hanging up your things all at once. No need to hit the closet on your way to the wine cooler. No need to pick up your giant work purse off the floor before bedtime so you don’t forget that important report in the a.m. Basically, the reindeer chair is a one-stop ‘oh my gosh I am finally home’ station. Once you’re ready to get up, the wine is waiting and you’ve left your workday behind you.

Can we just admit that most glider rockers are unbearably hokey? Nursery furniture has come so far in terms of design – right now I’m loving the Nurseryworks American Collection and the shop fawn&forest – that it seems a shame to insert a glider rocker that looks like something grandma bought way back in the day. And not your hip grandma, either! The good news is that things are changing, and glider rockers are starting to catch up to cribs and dressers and mobiles.

Here are two faves: the Empire Rocker from Nurseryworks and the Monte Luca Glider. What I like best about them is that they’ll look amazing somewhere in your house when the baby isn’t a baby anymore, which I think should be the goal of almost all nursery furniture.

Isn’t word association bizarre? I just found a gorgeous chair in the weirdest way possible, and so I want to take you on a short and strange journey through my thought processes. First, you have me remembering me when I shared a basement apartment with a good friend who was kind of nuts – in a fun way, I should add. For a while, he had a thing for saying “What is that, velvet?” in the reediest faux-Jewishy New York accent. I don’t know that anyone in my social circle knew where it came from. Next you have me deciding, on a random Thursday, to Google it, at which time I found out it’s a quote from Coming to America. At roughly the same time, in my search for the quote’s origins, I also found this:

It’s a reproduction of the classic french chair, flocked in blue, pink, purple, red, orange, or green and then upholstered in matching silk. No, it’s not velvet, but it is velvety and possibly less prone to scratches and dings as a result. English Eccentrics makes them to order, so they’re by no means cheap, but they are a lot of fun to look at and I certainly enjoyed finding my way to them!

The Al Bombo Barstool is one of the most recognizable designs to bear the Magis brand, and one of the most fun. Designed by Stefano Giovannoni, the real Al bombo is an all-aluminum seat swivel bar stool that weighs a mere 26.5 pounds but costs a whopping $1,400. The not-so-real Al Bombo is made of molded ABS thermoplastic coated with a full-gloss scratch-resistant enamel, weighs 13 pounds, comes in 15 bright, brilliant colors, and costs about $60.

Like the original (I believe) these go from table to bar/counter height and have a 360 degree swivel.

They’re gas lift tested to operate at least 100,000 times. And a rubber ring lines the perimeter of the underside of the base to protect your floors from scratching.

The question, of course, is whether knock off furniture belongs in the realm of, say, knockoff designer bags and shoes. I’m going to guess that the human rights abuses associated with knockoff designer bags could conceivably be a problem in the land of knockoff furniture, since both likely come from parts of the world where the idea of a minimum wage is laughable. Thoughts?

Who hasn’t punched a pillow or kicked a couch in a moment of heated anger? As stress-relief goes, it’s convenient, sure, and doesn’t carry the same stigma as, say, breaking plates by pitching them at the nearest wall. But is it truly satisfying? Maybe not as satisfying as this aggressively cool piece of furniture commissioned by Italian furniture manufacturer Campeggi for the 2010 Milan Design Week.

German designer Tobias Fraenzel, maker of the ping pong door and coloring book wallpaper, has created a one-of-a-kind sofa with a back cushion that can be lifted up to form a punching bag or kick bag. Now wailing on that would be much more fulfilling than punching a pillow, no? The verdict? Safe, good for exercise, and overall pretty sleek.