Yesterday, the mysterious machinations of fate brought me to the ‘toilets in Japan’ entry on Wikipedia, and I was reminded of the three seashells in Demolition Man. Many have speculated as to the correct usage of the three seashells, and the Poop Report even claims to have figured it out. That great quandary unraveled, I believe that the Poop Report should now help us all understand the vagueries of the Japanese toilet.
This interface looks fairly straightforward, though I have never experienced the urge to shower in my toilet. If a shower isn’t a shower in this context, what precisely is the difference between the shower function and the bidet function? Never mind…one would hopefully figure it out without spraying one’s trousers. The following interface, on the other hand, requires a lot more thought, along with a thorough knowledge of Japanese.
All right, so I press one button for a gentle spray, one for a stronger spray, one for a special spray just for ladies…and I press the last button for what, a strip of crispy bacon? Now that’s a toilet.
Wikipedia has this to say about so-called super toilets:
Other features may include a heated seat, which may be adjustable from 30°C to 40°C; an automatic lid equipped with a proximity sensor, which opens and closes based on the location of the user. Some even play music to relax the user’s sphincter (some Inax toilets, for example, play the first few tunes of Op. 62 Nr. 6 Frühlingslied by Felix Mendelssohn). Other features are automatic flushing, automatic air deodorizing, and a germ-resistant surface. Some models specially designed for the elderly may include arm rests and devices that help the user to stand up after use. A soft close feature slows the toilet lid down while closing so the lid does not slam onto the seat, or in some models, the toilet lid will close automatically a certain time after flushing. The most recent introduction is the ozone deodorant system that can quickly eliminate smells.
The mind boggles!